“People don’t always want to be with people. It gets tiring.”
— Emma Donoghue // Room
Well who would have thought I’d be back here again? I guess it’s time to go down the cellar and pick another bottle of wine. Perhaps that will rouse up my hibernating muse. It’s been years since I last written something.
It’s been a while, huh? How are you doing so far?
From time to time, it always felt good to just go and fade into the background. Observe those who are around you. Silently reading their expressions, interpreting their tones, deciphering their body language.
One would then find it amusing to know another person by merely watching them from afar. Keeping notes on who wear their emotions on their sleeves and those who frequently hid them underneath.
Understanding the space they occupy and how they value that said space. Listening to every low and high register of their voices and how it matches every muscle twitch.
Feeling every shift in the aura the moment they were thrown into a blissful or chaotic phase.
You’ll learn more about them just by observing them.
Most of the time, they either suffocate you or drain you.
#space #feelings #people #quotes
“I’m supposed to be thriving but sadly, I’m barely surviving”.
Secret Love Affair
Yes, I’ve watched another Kdrama and this one is definitely getting added to the “My Favorites” list. I’d describe it like this: if the Palme d’Or could be awarded to a television show, then this one would definitely be in the running (and it would most likely win it). There are 16 episodes but it feels more like a movie and that’s one of the things that makes this drama stand out. I’m not sure where to begin, so I’d like to apologize in advance if this particular opinion piece is all over the place and has no respect for proper punctuation. I had a lot of feelings after watching this drama, and one simply needs to let all of that energy out. With that said, I’m just going to do bullet points because that seems to make sense in this situation lol
- Since music is always an essential part of any show/ movie (especially in this case), I have to start with the soundtrack because it’s magnificent. It really is. It fits well with the theme and constantly adds an extra layer of emotion to what’s already happening on the screen. Whenever you hear the end credits waltz, you know something is about to happen and it makes you feel a bit uneasy. “Four Hands” is full of longing and “Affair” is cautious but steady. More often than not, this show uses music to convey emotion in place of a dialogue. One needs to simply listen and look at the characters expressions to understand what’s happening. One of the great things about music is that on some awesome, cosmic level it’s alive and has the power to make us feel and understand things without any words.
- Whenever I watch a show, I like to read the comment section because there are always interesting opinions out there. I was surprised to see that some people thought that the pace of the show was too slow. I certainly respect other people’s opinions, but I personally think that it wouldn’t have made sense if the story kept on jumping from one thing to the next. There was plenty of intrigue throughout the entire series, and I was already feeling nervous 10 minutes into the first episode. It’s a difficult situation to be in, but Sun Jae/ Hye Won met their soulmate. They have finally met their match. They both see each other for who they are and that’s more than enough to fall in love. What’s even more awesome is that something was already there even before they officially met. He briefly saw her at the concert hall and she saw a video of him playing piano (just his hands). Talent recognized talent and the rest is history.
- Honestly, I was surprised with her friends. Pleasantly surprised. They already seemed like pretty cool people from the beginning and it was made even more evident as the show progressed. I expected them to scold and alienate her, but they didn’t. They were there for her and even comforted Lee Sun Jae when he had no one else to turn to. I bet they were shocked to learn about the relationship between the two (and the other stuff), but they tried to understand the situation from her point of view and didn’t leave her side when things really went downhill. We can only guess what happened after the events in episode 16, but I really hope that Professor Jo got appointed as the next Dean instead of Oh Hye Won’s husband (Professor Kang)…The man is obviously more qualified, has a good personality, the students respect him and he’s simply a chill guy.
- Speaking of Oh Hye Won’s husband…I feel bad for saying this but that man is just pathetic. Don’t get me wrong, they all have their own flaws but in this case there was nothing that set him apart other than him being totally indifferent unless it had to do with his position in the school hierarchy. He, along with the others, was ready to throw her under the bus for the “greater good” if the situation called for it. At some point in the show, I believe they do mention that they didn’t marry for love and that it was more of a comradeship. This means that they’ve been married for at least 10 or more years and you would think that during that time people would become each other’s support system. Nope, not in this case because the man never cared to begin with and it seems that she’s the one who has always carried the relationship. She definitely works more, she’s a better musician and she’s kind of a legend in this school/ foundation and perhaps that’s why (subconsciously) her husband always felt inferior. Yes, it must hurt to find out that your spouse is having an affair, BUT I don’t think that’s what bothered him so much. I think he was more scared of losing his chance of becoming the next Dean and not being able to mentor Sun Jae (who would definitely further solidify his credibility as a professor). I might be wrong, however, that’s how it seemed to me. There were a couple of other instances when he should’ve taken her side. For example, that scene when she comes back home with a bandaid on her forehead because the psycho lady threw game pieces at her and it cut her skin. A normal person would’ve been concerned that someone would do that, but he simply brushed it off as if it’s OK that they treated her like that. Ugh, just thinking about it annoys me.
- The cinematography was great. It’s a different style and it stands out from the ones that one would normally see in other dramas. It fits well with the mood of the show. The camera shots from different perspectives, the color and how some of the angles repeat but at different pivotal moments throughout the show added an extra oomph to the overall viewing experience.
- If anything, this show should give people an appreciation for classical music or at least they’ll be able to recognize it whenever they hear it again. I was listening to songs on YouTube Music the other day and a song popped up in the “recommended” category and it was the Rachmaninoff: Rhapsody On A Theme of Paganini, and I immediately thought “Omg! That’s the piece that he plays during the recital!” If it wasn’t for this show, I would’ve never known the title of this piece.
- The way Sun Jae treats Oh Hye Won. We really do need to take a minute to talk about this because certain details were too precious. Everything was always done with sincerity and without trying to show off in front of the person that he loves. First of all, the way he started mopping the floor when she came to his apartment for the first time. He didn’t let her step onto the floor until it was clean (it already looked pretty clean) and he gave her a towel to clean her hands after she touched the staircase railing that leads to his apartment. How he makes sure that her head doesn’t hit the pipe when they are walking through a construction site/ abandoned building. How he went on a full cleaning/ home improvement mode when she sent him her confession because he wanted this to be a safe place. He changed the lightbulb outside, so it wouldn’t be as dark in the stairwell and he power-washed the concrete stairs. He treats her like she’s the most treasured being he’s ever encountered in his entire life. These actions might not be heroic or grand, but there’s a lot of warmth/ love within them. Oh, I almost forgot to mention the shoes. They way he constantly places and rearranges her shoes. Bonus: the fact that Oh Hye Won listed him in her phone as “Home” and when he sees that…Ahhh! My heart is so full!
- All of the actors were great. The age difference between the two main lead actors is similar to the one of their characters and it made this story more authentic/ believable. I don’t think it would’ve been the same if the actors in real life were the same age but one of them tried to play someone younger/ older. Their chemistry was on point too and they simply look great together.
- The fact that they both knew the severity of the situation and the repercussions that might come with it will surely send chills down your spine. It is an extremely risky situation and perhaps more for her than for him but it’s still dangerous. I’ve read a comment where someone mentioned that up until 2015 adultery was punishable by law in SK. After reading that, it certainly put things in perspective. I think they both felt the spark from the very beginning, but Sun Jae was bold enough to be the first one to say that he has feelings for Oh Hye Won. And how difficult it must have been for her to take a chance on something that she wasn’t expecting. The characters know and we as the audience know that there’s no turning back once they take this leap of faith. I mean *shivers* it’s impossible not to feel nervous for these two! Bonus: their first night together. Great choice by the director to only let us hear their conversation while showing spaces in the apartment. It’s their moment and theirs alone.
- Something else that I like about this show is that Sun Jae never let others influence his opinion/ stance on the matter at hand. For the most part, he based his opinions on what he was experiencing and what he was able to observe. Of course there were things that he didn’t understand due to his age and perhaps in certain aspects it’s good that he didn’t fully understand, but he certainly wasn’t oblivious. Also, I like that Oh Hye Won didn’t treat him like a child. She’s older, that’s true, but she wasn’t constantly reminding him of it. Even with the age difference, they are equals and understand each other in a way that’s unique to them. When they had moments of frustration, it wasn’t because one of them felt inferior. It was because they saw the other person hurting and felt helpless for not being able to make it better.
- The horrible people that she had to work for. Oh Hye Won is a smart individual, and I’m sure she knew exactly who she was dealing with and the things that they were capable of. Nevertheless, she carried on while keeping her head high without letting things get to her. The thing that frustrates me the most is that this diligent, intelligent, talented person took most of the beating for something that the other party was equally guilty of but most of them were able to walk away unharmed. At the end of the day, they regarded her as a disposable tool and didn’t think anything of it. It’s just unfair. I was glad that at least some of the others who were involved got what they deserved. One must have nerves of steel in order to endure what her character had to go through and not lose one’s dignity in the process. You can’t help but have respect for someone like that.
- As much as I wanted a more Hollywood type ending, I think the writers gave us the most realistic and logical ending. Even though she had to go through all these hardships, she’s finally free from the grasp of those who have never truly valued her. There are still challenges to conquer, but at least she will be in control of her life and all future decisions will be hers. I suppose that in the end she was indeed the true winner.
- Sun Jae’s soliloquy at the end *sigh* If that’s not one of the most romantic and heartfelt speeches of all time, then I don’t even know anymore. They’ve always had their own way of communicating, especially through music/ music references, and this one is perfect. I can’t figure out if it’s the same piece that he wrote about in his journal as a kid or if it’s the one that Professor Jo recommends to him or could it be the one that’s listed by Oh Hye Won’s name in the program? In any case, it’s extremely fitting that he would compare her to a classical piece of music. She’s the physical embodiment of that music. He will play it every day regardless of the weather or his mood. They have to be apart for the time being, but this will be his way of keeping her close. Once again, I think this goes to show that their connection goes beyond the ordinary. It’s on a cosmic level and just like music it has no boundaries.
- The show has an open ending and I truly like to believe that everything turned out OK. I’d like to believe that he did win the competition. I’d like to believe that she was released sooner than expected. I’d like to believe that they lived a long and happy life together. That’s what I believe and I’m going to stick with it.
Moral of this long post: this is a great show and it’s worth it.
Secret Love Affair
Yes, I’ve watched another Kdrama and this one is definitely getting added to the “My Favorites” list. I’d describe it like this: if the Palme d’Or could be awarded to a television show, then this one would definitely be in the running (and it would most likely win it). There are 16 episodes but it feels more like a movie and that’s one of the things that makes this drama stand out. I’m not sure where to begin, so I’d like to apologize in advance if this particular opinion piece is all over the place and has no respect for proper punctuation. I had a lot of feelings after watching this drama, and one simply needs to let all of that energy out. With that said, I’m just going to do bullet points because that seems to make sense in this situation lol
- Since music is always an essential part of any show/ movie (especially in this case), I have to start with the soundtrack because it’s magnificent. It really is. It fits well with the theme and constantly adds an extra layer of emotion to what’s already happening on the screen. Whenever you hear the end credits waltz, you know something is about to happen and it makes you feel a bit uneasy. “Four Hands” is full of longing and “Affair” is cautious but steady. More often than not, this show uses music to convey emotion in place of a dialogue. One needs to simply listen and look at the characters expressions to understand what’s happening. One of the great things about music is that on some awesome, cosmic level it’s alive and has the power to make us feel and understand things without any words.
- Whenever I watch a show, I like to read the comment section because there are always interesting opinions out there. I was surprised to see that some people thought that the pace of the show was too slow. I certainly respect other people’s opinions, but I personally think that it wouldn’t have made sense if the story kept on jumping from one thing to the next. There was plenty of intrigue throughout the entire series, and I was already feeling nervous 10 minutes into the first episode. It’s a difficult situation to be in, but Sun Jae/ Hye Won met their soulmate. They have finally met their match. They both see each other for who they are and that’s more than enough to fall in love. What’s even more awesome is that something was already there even before they officially met. He briefly saw her at the concert hall and she saw a video of him playing piano (just his hands). Talent recognized talent and the rest is history.
- Honestly, I was surprised with her friends. Pleasantly surprised. They already seemed like pretty cool people from the beginning and it was made even more evident as the show progressed. I expected them to scold and alienate her, but they didn’t. They were there for her and even comforted Lee Sun Jae when he had no one else to turn to. I bet they were shocked to learn about the relationship between the two (and the other stuff), but they tried to understand the situation from her point of view and didn’t leave her side when things really went downhill. We can only guess what happened after the events in episode 16, but I really hope that Professor Jo got appointed as the next Dean instead of Oh Hye Won’s husband (Professor Kang)…The man is obviously more qualified, has a good personality, the students respect him and he’s simply a chill guy.
- Speaking of Oh Hye Won’s husband…I feel bad for saying this but that man is just pathetic. Don’t get me wrong, they all have their own flaws but in this case there was nothing that set him apart other than him being totally indifferent unless it had to do with his position in the school hierarchy. He, along with the others, was ready to throw her under the bus for the “greater good” if the situation called for it. At some point in the show, I believe they do mention that they didn’t marry for love and that it was more of a comradeship. This means that they’ve been married for at least 10 or more years and you would think that during that time people would become each other’s support system. Nope, not in this case because the man never cared to begin with and it seems that she’s the one who has always carried the relationship. She definitely works more, she’s a better musician and she’s kind of a legend in this school/ foundation and perhaps that’s why (subconsciously) her husband always felt inferior. Yes, it must hurt to find out that your spouse is having an affair, BUT I don’t think that’s what bothered him so much. I think he was more scared of losing his chance of becoming the next Dean and not being able to mentor Sun Jae (who would definitely further solidify his credibility as a professor). I might be wrong, however, that’s how it seemed to me. There were a couple of other instances when he should’ve taken her side. For example, that scene when she comes back home with a bandaid on her forehead because the psycho lady threw game pieces at her and it cut her skin. A normal person would’ve been concerned that someone would do that, but he simply brushed it off as if it’s OK that they treated her like that. Ugh, just thinking about it annoys me.
- The cinematography was great. It’s a different style and it stands out from the ones that one would normally see in other dramas. It fits well with the mood of the show. The camera shots from different perspectives, the color and how some of the angles repeat but at different pivotal moments throughout the show added an extra oomph to the overall viewing experience.
- If anything, this show should give people an appreciation for classical music or at least they’ll be able to recognize it whenever they hear it again. I was listening to songs on YouTube Music the other day and a song popped up in the “recommended” category and it was the Rachmaninoff: Rhapsody On A Theme of Paganini, and I immediately thought “Omg! That’s the piece that he plays during the recital!” If it wasn’t for this show, I would’ve never known the title of this piece.
- The way Sun Jae treats Oh Hye Won. We really do need to take a minute to talk about this because certain details were too precious. Everything was always done with sincerity and without trying to show off in front of the person that he loves. First of all, the way he started mopping the floor when she came to his apartment for the first time. He didn’t let her step onto the floor until it was clean (it already looked pretty clean) and he gave her a towel to clean her hands after she touched the staircase railing that leads to his apartment. How he makes sure that her head doesn’t hit the pipe when they are walking through a construction site/ abandoned building. How he went on a full cleaning/ home improvement mode when she sent him her confession because he wanted this to be a safe place. He changed the lightbulb outside, so it wouldn’t be as dark in the stairwell and he power-washed the concrete stairs. He treats her like she’s the most treasured being he’s ever encountered in his entire life. These actions might not be heroic or grand, but there’s a lot of warmth/ love within them. Oh, I almost forgot to mention the shoes. They way he constantly places and rearranges her shoes. Bonus: the fact that Oh Hye Won listed him in her phone as “Home” and when he sees that…Ahhh! My heart is so full!
- All of the actors were great. The age difference between the two main lead actors is similar to the one of their characters and it made this story more authentic/ believable. I don’t think it would’ve been the same if the actors in real life were the same age but one of them tried to play someone younger/ older. Their chemistry was on point too and they simply look great together.
- The fact that they both knew the severity of the situation and the repercussions that might come with it will surely send chills down your spine. It is an extremely risky situation and perhaps more for her than for him but it’s still dangerous. I’ve read a comment where someone mentioned that up until 2015 adultery was punishable by law in SK. After reading that, it certainly put things in perspective. I think they both felt the spark from the very beginning, but Sun Jae was bold enough to be the first one to say that he has feelings for Oh Hye Won. And how difficult it must have been for her to take a chance on something that she wasn’t expecting. The characters know and we as the audience know that there’s no turning back once they take this leap of faith. I mean *shivers* it’s impossible not to feel nervous for these two! Bonus: their first night together. Great choice by the director to only let us hear their conversation while showing spaces in the apartment. It’s their moment and theirs alone.
- Something else that I like about this show is that Sun Jae never let others influence his opinion/ stance on the matter at hand. For the most part, he based his opinions on what he was experiencing and what he was able to observe. Of course there were things that he didn’t understand due to his age and perhaps in certain aspects it’s good that he didn’t fully understand, but he certainly wasn’t oblivious. Also, I like that Oh Hye Won didn’t treat him like a child. She’s older, that’s true, but she wasn’t constantly reminding him of it. Even with the age difference, they are equals and understand each other in a way that’s unique to them. When they had moments of frustration, it wasn’t because one of them felt inferior. It was because they saw the other person hurting and felt helpless for not being able to make it better.
- The horrible people that she had to work for. Oh Hye Won is a smart individual, and I’m sure she knew exactly who she was dealing with and the things that they were capable of. Nevertheless, she carried on while keeping her head high without letting things get to her. The thing that frustrates me the most is that this diligent, intelligent, talented person took most of the beating for something that the other party was equally guilty of but most of them were able to walk away unharmed. At the end of the day, they regarded her as a disposable tool and didn’t think anything of it. It’s just unfair. I was glad that at least some of the others who were involved got what they deserved. One must have nerves of steel in order to endure what her character had to go through and not lose one’s dignity in the process. You can’t help but have respect for someone like that.
- As much as I wanted a more Hollywood type ending, I think the writers gave us the most realistic and logical ending. Even though she had to go through all these hardships, she’s finally free from the grasp of those who have never truly valued her. There are still challenges to conquer, but at least she will be in control of her life and all future decisions will be hers. I suppose that in the end she was indeed the true winner.
- Sun Jae’s soliloquy at the end *sigh* If that’s not one of the most romantic and heartfelt speeches of all time, then I don’t even know anymore. They’ve always had their own way of communicating, especially through music/ music references, and this one is perfect. I can’t figure out if it’s the same piece that he wrote about in his journal as a kid or if it’s the one that Professor Jo recommends to him or could it be the one that’s listed by Oh Hye Won’s name in the program? In any case, it’s extremely fitting that he would compare her to a classical piece of music. She’s the physical embodiment of that music. He will play it every day regardless of the weather or his mood. They have to be apart for the time being, but this will be his way of keeping her close. Once again, I think this goes to show that their connection goes beyond the ordinary. It’s on a cosmic level and just like music it has no boundaries.
- The show has an open ending and I truly like to believe that everything turned out OK. I’d like to believe that he did win the competition. I’d like to believe that she was released sooner than expected. I’d like to believe that they lived a long and happy life together. That’s what I believe and I’m going to stick with it.
Moral of this long post: this is a great show and it’s worth it.
the 7 deadly sins of being a writer
- self-doubt
- procrastination
- sleep deprivation
- jealousy
- wailing (despair)
- notebook lust
- horrifying comma use
sapphotendencies